Sick and Single

I had been planning for this weekend throughout the week. School started again for me on Monday, but the first week turned out to be just a lot of introductory stuff and no major assignments to do. The hard work is yet to come...I am sure of it. So between that, my ex taking the kids for the weekend, and a forecast of picture perfect fall-like weather, I decided that this would be a great weekend for me to get underway with phase two of my backyard landscaping. I figured that I could get started with my work on Friday, with just Zoe at home, and then get everything done that I needed to before the kids returned on Monday.

Now, phase two is no simple task. This phase consists of some major weed removal, stone and boulder removal, removing and re-setting a stone staircase, and lots of shoveling. All of this so that I can move onto phase three, my favorite phase, planting! To backtrack a little, let me explain...when we first moved into this house five years ago, one of the projects that I gladly took on was the landscaping. Off the back of the house was a hill with a set of stone steps to the side, leading down to the flat part of the yard. The hill was completely overgrown with all sorts of weeds. It was obvious that there had been some sort of garden there before, but everything was so overgrown that it was impossible to see what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. I decided then that I would dig out everything on that hill and start over with a brand new garden. This became much more of a task than I could have ever imagined and I really could have never completed it without the help of my sister and mom. As we began digging out the hill, we began uncovering boulder after boulder. Not only did we uncover boulders throughout the hill, but we also found a stone path at the bottom of the hill. Once completed, I loved my back hill. It did not take me long, however, to see what had happened to the original hillside garden...erosion. As much as I tried, I could not completely stop some of the hill from washing away. So my strategy over the years has been to maintain as much of the garden as possible until I could really do what I needed to do to save the garden. Finally, this spring I was able to have a retaining wall put in across the top of the garden and I am hoping that is all it will take to reclaim my hill. I was so excited to see that wall go in, but at the same time, I suddenly realized how much more work this was going to mean for me. Adding the wall added a good couple of feet of garden all the way across the top of the hill...among other things. Let the work begin!

This brings me back to this weekend. Thursday night, the night before the kids are supposed to leave to go to their Dad's for the weekend, I get sick. I mean SICK, like I don't even know how I made it up the steps. Like I spent a portion of the night sleeping on the toilet, sick. And as I lay there on the toilet, the room spinning as though I had just gotten off that amusement park ride where it spins so fast that you stick to the wall while the floor drops out from under you, I again found myself realizing what it means to be alone. As I laid there, unable to move because I got sick every time I even raised my head, I felt so helpless that I could do nothing else but cry. I just wanted some water and had no way to get it. No one to call for. Would it be wrong for me to wake Camille up? If I laid there long enough, would one of the kids get up to use the restroom and then help me? Could I make it to the bath tub and get a drink there? In the end, that is what I did and do you know how nasty water tastes coming out of the bath tub?!?!

The next morning, when the kids discovered that I was sick, they were all very concerned about me. I often think it is interesting to observe the different ways that my kids respond to different situations. I remember a conversation I shared with my mom about how funny it was for her to watch each of us girls as parents because she could see some of the mannerisms that we showed as children now as parents. For example, when my sisters were babies, I would want to hold them and even if they were screaming and crying, I would just sit there and hold them. Completely unfazed by the screaming and crying. Twenty-five years later as a parent, I was the same way with my own children. Very laid back and relatively unfazed by the screaming and crying. Each one of us was different as children and, likewise, different as mothers. Since that conversation with my mom, I often find myself observing the mannerisms of my kids and wondering if they will carry over for them into their adulthood. Case in point...as I lay sick and unable to move on the couch, Zoe says to her brother and sister more than once that she is really worried because Mommy is sick and later proceeds to put a movie in and curl up with me on the couch. She doesn't leave my side all morning, watching more than one movie and occasionally asking me if I am okay. Camille, on the other hand, starts out the morning by bringing me a stuffed animal and telling me that her puppy wants to lay with me. Later, when she comes home from school, she asks me if I am still sick and then proceeds to get her papers out of her backpack for me and explains to me that she will just hold the papers up for me because she doesn't want to hand them to me and get my sick germs...wow. She then leaves the room, only coming back occasionally to set get well cards on the coffee table in front of me that she is busy drawing in the other room (as to not get my sick germs, I'm sure). Quentin, the typical guy, after asking about my symptoms he is off doing his own thing. Eager to help when asked, but otherwise not to be bothered by the whole thing. Only time will tell I guess, but I am interested to see how these behaviors will carry over as they grow older.

Anyway, I spent the next 24 hours being sick. Not exactly how I had planned to spend my weekend. By Saturday morning I still was not feeling well, but I was determined to get my hill done. I went out and actually did quite a bit of work before I decided I needed to just lay down again and that was my weekend, gardening and laying down. I still am not feeling 100%, but I do feel good about all that I was able to accomplish on my hill.

Here are some "before" pictures of my hill after my retaining wall was put in:

The first time we did the hill, we put these stone-stacked steps in as an ending point to the garden. Now they just look awkward with the wall right there.


LOTS of weeding to do...this is the side of the garden that had the most erosion.


This is actually a great illustration of just how much erosion has occured, as the new wall is pretty close to where the garden originally started. The stones at the bottom of the picture show where the garden now starts. This new wall actually sits a few feet underground.