When Is It REALLY Important...Really??

Well, it’s that time of year. The end of the school year means so much to so many people. For some parents it is a time of dread, because what will they do now that their kids are going to be home all day? Other parents look forward to the extra time that they will have to spend with the kids and make plans to keep everyone entertained during the summer months. For many it is a time to commemorate, and these days it seems that not much goes without ceremony. Remember when you used to say that you were going to so-and-so’s graduation and everyone just knew exactly what you were talking about? Obviously high school, right?! But now there are preschool graduations, kindergarten graduations, sixth grade graduations, and the list seems to go on and on. Honestly, I find it all to be just a bit ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I have shared in each of my child’s excitement as they walked across the “stage” for their preschool graduation and even shed a tear or two at the time. But if I am being honest, I just don’t see the point. Everything before high school is expected…by law…so what is it that we are celebrating?? That they accomplished something that they were SUPPOSED TO accomplish?? It’s like the parent that brags about the fact that they take care of and provide for their kids…isn’t that what you are supposed to do??? Last time I checked, that was just part of being a parent. Just like completing preschool and 6th grade was part of being a kid. I just think that it is hard to teach your kids the significance of such accomplishments

as graduating high school or college when they have graduated from something every year since preschool!

I have been thinking about this over the past few days, as the kids and I prepare to go visit family this weekend and celebrate a high school graduation and then do the same thing in Minnesota the following weekend. Wondering if my own kids really understand the significance, then reflecting on what was happening in our lives a year ago and realizing that I think they actually do understand. Last year, at this time, I was completely absorbed in school (and we all know how I felt about that). I was finishing up my last few classes and trying to meet a deadline on my final research paper for my master’s degree. The kids were thrown on the back-burner and they worked very hard to make sure I knew how they felt about it. I don’t know how many times I had to apologize and try to explain that things were only temporary and that once I was done with school and working, we would be able to enjoy our summers together. But it didn’t stop the complaints from coming in…”You never have time for us anymore. You just play on your computer all day.” Or, “We never get to do anything fun.” It’s not easy to hear your kids tell you that they would rather be with their dad because “at least he will play with us”. But it was a means to an end and I tried to keep my eyes on the bigger picture.

My kids were there to watch me walk across the stage to receive my master’s degree and they were smiling and waving at me as I did. They were proud of me and I felt an enormous sense of accomplishment. Not only because I graduated, but because I had shown my children that you can do anything that you put your mind to. I hope that now they know what it means to work hard for something and make sacrifices and that they are recognizing how it can pay off in the end. More and more, as I look around and see what my life is becoming, I feel this sense of amazement and know that only God could have created this plan for me. Without the divorce, I am sure that I would have never gone back to school. Never been able to see the looks on Quentin’s, Camille’s, and Zoe’s face as they watched their mommy graduate from college…again. And never been able to demonstrate for them the value of an education, of what it means to work hard, to sacrifice, and to truly understand the significance of an accomplishment such as graduating. Telling them about it and showing them are two different things, and I believe their lives will be better for having seen it.

I guess this time of year, for me, is really a time to reflect. To see how far we have come and to look ahead at the endless possibilities in front of us and know that anything is possible. Although reflecting is sometimes a painful thing to do, I think it makes the looking ahead part that much better. I have been looking forward to this summer since the last one ended! Eager to spend my days at home with the kids, taking trips and going to the park and going swimming, rather than “playing” on my computer (because writing a research paper and doing homework was so much fun). I am determined to make sure that the kids see how hard work really does pay off.